For years I made a New Years Resolution and was proud of being able to say that I met my goal. One year it was to balance my checkbook (and keep it balanced). Another year I resolved to run a half marathon. I am a motivated person and take pride in getting things done when I say I will do them. Nothing feels better than putting a check in the box- I DID IT!
It’s said that you are more likely to meet a goal if you say it outloud and tell others. That sounds good if your goal is to floss more regularly, eat less junk, or start an exercise routine. But what if your goal is emotionally tough? What if you find yourself avoiding your goal because even thinking about it makes you uncomfortable?
This has been happening to me the last few months. I have a personal story to share and truly believe that it will help others. Writing a book and finding people to help along the way is not an easy task. When you combine that with the fact that the subject is personal and painful, it’s easy to say, “I’ll get to that later.” That would be fine if I hadn’t told people that I was trying to write a book. They ask (with good intentions) how it’s going. Then the negative thoughts enter my head. I feel like I’ve let others down and given up. But I haven’t given up, I’m just…….waiting. Waiting for what? Will it get easier to re-read a dark story where I am the main character?
I don’t know when it’ll get easier (or if it ever will), but I do know that I’m going to resolve to give myself the opportunity to wait until I feel ready to dive back in. God has put it on my heart to share my story, and I trust him to equip me with the strength to do it.
So my resolution is to allow myself to be ok with waiting. Anyone else?