After spending most of my life trying to forget my past and hiding from the truth, I realized it was time to stop. It was time for me to stop lying and making excuses for my dysfunctional relationship with my parents. It wasn’t easy, but now I see that sometimes we must look back to our past be able to move forward in our lives. It can be hard to go back into a dark, unhappy time. Especially when the Bible says that we are asked to forgive those who have hurt us and caused so much pain. I didn’t want to forgive because I thought it meant that my parents would no longer be responsible for my pain. After understood that wasn’t what forgiveness meant, I chose to forgive them for ME. I needed to let go of the pain and begin to move forward. I believe that God has had a plan for me for a long time and wants to use my past for a purpose.
My God Size Dream is to provide hope to others who have been hurt in the past as I was. I am writing a memoir about my life as a young girl who was abused and broken. My story is messy, but has a constant theme; my hunger for a relationship with God. I believe that it is this relationship that helped fill the cracks in my heart.
As I have been reflecting on my past, I find myself shaking my head wondering how I ended up where I am today. I’m happily married, a mother of four wonderful sons, and surrounded by wonderful friends. I know that God’s love and guidance led me to all of this. I believe that God has helped me look back at my past, remove my mask, and He wants me to share my story. My God Size Dream is to help others get to the place where I am now; a place of peace and joy.